As I mentioned in my vision statement, I had terrible stage fright when I first started performing again in 2006. I started reading books on handling anxiety, and making notes on my own experience. I like to share with you my “inventory of techniques” that you may find helpful. I know it is a long list, and some may even sound contradictory to each other. So just pick a few and experiment with them. If one does not work, move on to another technique. Or create your own way (and please share it with me!)
The mind is just like water: if you don’t disturb it, it has no ripples
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Quick Fixes For Anxiety while in Backstage …..
- Deep and slow breathing: breathe out about twice as long as you breathe in 2
- Express a positive emotional states physically: recreate the body posture and facial expressions that my body normally assumes when I feel calm, confidence, relaxed, and centered. Imagine feelings of tremendous confidence and self-assurance. “I am totally empowered, in the flow” 3
- Ground myself to the present moment: Focus on things outside of myself - such as looking at the different colors around me. Try to find things that are green, or blue, or red. Listen to the sound the audience is making: is someone sneezing, coughing, laughing, talking? Listen to the entire mix of sound coming from the audience. 4
- Be aware of myself: sound I am creating (my breaths), my movements, my emotions 12
- Create a safe place in my mind: visualize myself in a beautiful, serene setting, and feeling perfectly calm and peaceful. Or visualize the day after the performance, the next month, or next year: see that life goes on as usual, and today’s performance will be just a small part of a long journey. 5
- Create imaginary humor about the surroundings: use the “scrambling technique” adapted from Neurolinguistic Programming. Imagine as vividly as possible using all my senses a fearful situation (such as performing in front of an audience!). Then scramble the images and make the picture as ridiculous, silly, and bizarre as I possible can. For example, imagine the piano keys are flying away to the audience, which the audience grabs and start licking them! 6
- Positive visualization and mental imagery: Days, weeks, or months before a performance, imagine myself during the performance feeling calm and relaxed. Feel how I walk onto the stage with confident. Visualize how I adjust the piano bench, and test out the pedal’s depth and resistance. Imagine the energies from the audience merging with mine, and how the music flows harmoniously - fusing me and the audience into one. 7
- Slow measured movements when walking on stage towards the piano 8
Surrendering into the spirit of the zone…no audience, no me - everything was gone except the music 1
- Listen to music that is dissimilar to what I am about to perform, but establish the right mood. For example, I try not to listen to piano classical music before I have to perform. Instead, I listen to Jazz, orchestral works, or movie soundtracks. See also my article “Ipod Fights Stage Fright“.
- [I just learnt this from the Washington competition] Just have a jolly mood! Chat away with others, feeling ‘how cool and fun it is that I am going on stage and people actually sit for 30 min and listen to me!”. Do something fun and crazy to relax - e.g. try juggling! or act goofily in front of someone! Create a fun mood!
- Try not to talk to people for 30-45 mins before my turn. Feel myself suspended in the boundless cosmos; in one with humanity; visualize the smallness of Earth in this Universe; imagine the insignificance of the next hour in the big scheme of things; feel “Euphoria”; feel the happiness in being able to share my experience with others in next 30 mins.
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Quick Reminders …
- My goal is to clearly and honestly convey my own musical intentions and emotions. Not to impress anyone, not to have others agree with my interpretation. 9
- I am going to perform exactly how I had practised. I am not going to play the piece differently (e.g. faster, louder) to impress anyone, or to ‘project’ more. Any projection required will be adjusted through my ear, not by banging the piano harder.
- I am here sharing with the world my love of music. Bring the audience along with me, feel the energy, and spirits will come!
- Stop being critical - say to myself: “I am allowed to fail!”. Try to achieve an unthinking state - relaxed but be aware. Simply be aware, without judgment. 10
- Recall what I wrote in my vision statement.
- Remember I need to project the smallest pianississimo to the farthest audience!
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Stepping Cross the Line - onto Concert Platform
I was inspired by a behind-the-scene footage of the amazingly moving film “Monster’s Ball“. The footage shows how Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton prepared themselves seconds before the camera rolls for a highly intense scene inside a car. Instead of seeing the actors meditating intensely, they were actually joking with each other even seconds before the camera starts rolling.
As soon as the camera rolls, suddenly the actors ’snap’ right into their characters, as if they put on a mask and are no longer themselves, but are the characters they are portraying - their facial expressions, intensities of their eyes, and their whole body suddenly changed 180 degrees.
I now see an imaginary line dividing the backstage and concert platform. As soon as I cross that line, I ’snap’ into the musical character I am portraying. I visualize myself being a creature shedding my old skin, emerging anew becoming the music itself!
I am an actor of the music - I am not myself anymore, but the character portrayed by the music 11
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While Sitting on Piano Bench, Right Before Touching the Piano
- Feel resistance and depth of right pedal, ensure bench right height and distance from piano. Then take 2 deep breath. Always start playing the piece when breathing out (to simulate the feeling of singing the music)
- Remind myself: If piano is unknown, risk too much than too little sound. If opening is soft passage, use soft pedal but project main melody.
- I am sharing my love of music with the world! Feel myself in-one with the energy in the concert hall.
- I am projecting my music to the audience sitting at the farthest corner. Don’t play only to myself! Share it with the world!
- For technically demanding passages: remember to feel a little distant from the physicalities and be the “conductor”. Don’t get excited or I will lose control.
- Imagine I am my favorite performer, that I am in Carnegie Hall performing in front of a few thousand people. 13
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Real Time Adjustments During Performance
- If notice sound does not project with soft pedal, leave it off! Don’t struggle to project with soft pedal on just because I practised with the soft pedal during that passage.
- For big sounds, if the piano does not project enough, do not try to project more than how I had practised it. Trying to force more sound out of the piano will only distract myself.
- Sing! : either in my head, or imitate the physicality of humming but without making a sound. Immediately my focus is on the music and the sound, and any adjustment will become automatic.
- Focus on the sound, the touch of the keys, how my hand is moving. Never think - just observe 12
- Step back a little - never get totally emotionally involved or I will lose control 14
- Feel relaxed physically, even though emotionally I might be intense. Close my eyes to hear, and to feel if necessary / when possible.
- Breathe slowly! Remember: sing along and dance with the flow! Feel extremely relaxed! Breathe with the music!
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References
1 Green, Barry, The mastery of Music: Ten Pathways to True Artistry, by, p. 187
2 Esposito , Janet E., In the Spotlight: overcoming your fear of public speaking and performing, p. 50
3 Ibid., p. 98
4 Ibid., p. 49
5 Ibid., P. 46
6 Ibid., P. 86
7 Ibid., P.88
8 Kochevitsky, George, The Art of Piano Playing: a scientific approach, p. 53
9 Green, Barry, The Inner Game of Music, p. 18
10 Ibid, P. 28, 34
11 Ibid., P. 80
12 Ibid., P. 22
13 Ibid., P. 91
14 Green, Barr, The Mastery of Music: Ten Pathways to True Artistry, p. 136
